Emergency Room Doctor
I was ushered right in to the ER. It was just one big open room with people on IVs lying around. The doctor spoke to me right away (I didn't even have time to sit down) and he and the nurses asked if I spoke Korean. No. They all giggled. What fun for them! So I said I had the flu. He said, "bad cold?" and I wanted to tell him no it was not a cold it was a matter of life or death, but I said yes. He asked for my symptoms using what I assume is latin - rhinorrhea? and hand gestures. Then he said they would give me a shot, pointing to his butt, and some medicine. The nurse brought me into a partially secluded room and told me she'd give me the shot. I didn't know if I should take my pants off or what but she just pulled them down a bit, slapped me a few times and then spanked me while she was injecting so I wouldn't feel it, which worked. Then I was ushered out quickly. Maybe they didn't want the sicker patients getting my flu? I went to pay and it cost $35. That's damn cheap for an ER visit without insurance! Across the street was the pharmacy and the drugs cost $10. They came in little paper packages with 4 pills in each package so I wouldn't have to think about which ones to take when. Pretty nifty. No clue what any of them were. When I got home I forced myself to eat something and took the pills. A few hours later I realized that the fire in my throat, which hadn't waivered since Monday, was finally gone completely. A miracle! I had been skeptical that they didn't take enough time with me but they knew what they were doing after all. V exciting. Friday I was feeling ok but by the evening my right ear was completely clogged up. Usually if I blow my nose or tip it or something it at least unclogs for a minute but this was not moving. I figured it'd be gone by the morning. Saturday I had to teach to make up for the day off Friday. My ear was still stuffed up and I had to keep telling my students to speak up. This never works because they think that means they are wrong and then they refuse to speak. V annoying. Saturday night was one of the worst nights of my life. The stuffed ear became painful. It was like I was constantly landing in a plane. I don't think I slept the whole night. By Sunday mid-morning the pain subsided and I tried to venture out of the house for a few hours to get fresh air. Still half deaf. Monday I'd had enough and asked a friend to take me to the regular doctor that the other teachers go to.
Doctor Hwang
At this office I had to wait, but not very long. There were comfy couches and some fun Korean tv on and my friend came with me. I had no clue what to expect because there were two rooms that were open with empty beds and then one closed door that people kept disappearing into. When it was my turn a bell rang, which is similar to the bell at the bank, the P.O., and the movies (all places where people take a number instead of waiting in line). My friend had to tell me I was supposed to go through the mystery door. Inside was the doctor's office. Like, an office, with a desk in the middle. strange. I sat down and told him about my previous week's flu and trip to the ER (he laughed) and showed him the list of meds I took in Korean. He spoke some English. He looked in my ear with that ear tool and then kind of gasped. What?! He asked me questions and then every once in a while he looked in my ear again. He told me how my "eye drum" was blocked. Finally he said he would give me one day of antibiotics and if it wasn't better the next day I had to go to an ENT, but if it was better I had to come back to him to get the rest of the drugs. Since I was there I decided to ask him about what I thought might be a small fungus on my arm. He looked at it and said he had no clue. Ok thanks, it's getting better on it's own anyway. I went to pay for the visit: $1. The drugs again were $10. For a hot second the next morning I thought the drugs had worked but then I sat up in bed and went deaf again.
Ear Nose and Throat Doctor
I walked to the ENT in the morning after unsuccessfully trying to steam out my ear at the gym. The clerk didn't speak much English but he asked me about insurance. Sorry, man, I have none. He seemed worried. After asking a couple more times he brought me in to see Dr. Choi (my grad advisor's name!) and Dr. Choi asked me a few times about insurance too. He said his fee was high without insurance. Well, I don't have any sorry. He asked if any of my friends had it that I could use. No, sorry. What about your Korean friends? I don't think so. Hm, very worried. Then he gave up and told me to have a seat. Um, what about those people in the waiting room ahead of me? Oh well. He seemed to speak better English than Dr. Hwang. I told him about the flu and about the doctor visits and about the drugs. I had to show him the antibiotic because I had no list. He said it was bad and stop taking it. Then, without preamble, He pushed my head back in the chair and took out what looked like a 9 inch needle and pointed it towards my nose. I'm pretty sure I let out a little scream because the nurse laughed. Dr. Choi pointed to the monitor behind him and told me to watch. The needle was a light with a camera! and i could see up my own nose! hairy :( The nurse took a screen shot and he went up the other nostril. Then, he turned my head and I'm pretty sure did not clean the camera needle and stuck that scary thing in my ear! screenshot. then the other ear. Then he showed me them next to each other and pointed out how different they were because one was filled with fluid. Oh yeah I totally see it. nope. same black and white creepy ear pictures. Doesn't matter, he knew what was wrong finally. Too much fluid, duh. He prescribed a different antibiotic, a steroid, and 4 other drugs and even told me what each of them do. Then I had to go pay. Ok here it comes. I think I was assuming $150 and was worried that it might be closer to thousands. Um, $12. TWELVE DOLLARS?! wtf? Granted, it cost 12 times as much as the internal medicine doctor I'd seen the day before, but why all the hassle for $12? Was I reading it wrong? no. The clerk told me he gave me a .50 discount. So nice! Was I hearing him wrong? Did he mean $500? It's a little confusing because the won has a lot of zeros. The $12 was actually 12,000 won so I thought maybe I was wrong. but no. My theory is that he gets paid more through insurance and wanted me to use that for his benefit. There's no other explanation that makes sense to me. The ER clerk didn't make a fuss over $35, which in retrospect is a damn lot by their standards! Anyway, the new drugs were again $10 and for the third time I got cute little paper packages with pills already sorted. I noticed one pill was cut in half and made sure it was the same in each bag. I wonder what drug I can't handle a full dose of. So that was yesterday, and I taught that evening still half deaf. But today I had the day off and I'm pretty sure I am back to normal. Hard to tell if I'm used to being deaf or what but I'm at least better because I don't have that pressure in my ear anymore. Yay!
To conclude, three doctors, including a specialist with expensive equipment, and an ER visit on a holiday (one of only two holidays this country has so it's a big deal), plus three different sets of meds for a grand total of under $80. Can that be right? I think I might get everything wrong with me fixed before going back to the US. Some friends of mine are getting some cheap hair removal done. Any suggestions for me?
