I went to a coffee shop tonight to finish a book and listen to my friend's band. Near the end of my book and the set my really ex boyfriend walks in with his friend and sits right next to me. I look up and see that unmistakable douchey chin beard thing and say hi. I get up any hug them both and then say I'm almost done with this book. I say it to let him off the hook from chatting with me. I finish the book even sooner than expected but luckily the band is on their last song so I sit motionlessly enthralled in watching them. When they are done I get up to talk to the band and I see the ex's friend looking at me to say goodbye. He looked like he really wanted to talk to me but I couldn't even remember his name. So as I'm walking away I turn around and wave goodbye without even saying anything. I talk to the band for a few minutes and then leave without looking back.
I feel like a total asshole for not talking to them but I don't actually care what they are up to and don't really want them to know about my life.
I come home and start putting away my dishes. There's a dish that the ex ate off. And there's a dish that the next douche ate off of and so on. Do I really want to start dating douches again? I was just starting to think that it would be nice to start dating a cool guy again but now I realize I don't date cool guys and I'm def not ready to start dating douches again.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Next Episode
This morning on the way to work I heard Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg's "Next Episode" on the radio. Two amazing things happened while I listened and I will explain them here.
1. I heard them say they were going to drink "Yac" which I can only assume is short for Cognac. Is that not the most amazing thing of all time? Next time I eat caviar i'm going to call it "yar." e.g. "Dr. Hawking and I are were just about to enjoy some yar. Would you care to join us?"
Also, is this where Reddizog got the inspiration for "yatch" in reference to "beauty" aka "bi-atch"? I'm going to assume that Dr. Dre/Snoop Dogg and Reddizog both came to this "ending of word abbreviation" on their own and they are all/both so effing awesome.
2. When my favorite (ok one of my favorite as this song is so great) line was aired they bleeped out the n word i.e. "woopdiwoop bleep what?" This absolutley made my day. The n word has only ever been bleeped in senior English class. This can only mean one thing: PROGRESS, and I'm happy to be alive to witness it. Do you think it's because of you know who (no not Voldemort, the president!)? Who cares? I'm so excited that the word is finally being bleeped and is getting the same treatment as other, even far less offensive words. Woopdiwoop indeed!
1. I heard them say they were going to drink "Yac" which I can only assume is short for Cognac. Is that not the most amazing thing of all time? Next time I eat caviar i'm going to call it "yar." e.g. "Dr. Hawking and I are were just about to enjoy some yar. Would you care to join us?"
Also, is this where Reddizog got the inspiration for "yatch" in reference to "beauty" aka "bi-atch"? I'm going to assume that Dr. Dre/Snoop Dogg and Reddizog both came to this "ending of word abbreviation" on their own and they are all/both so effing awesome.
2. When my favorite (ok one of my favorite as this song is so great) line was aired they bleeped out the n word i.e. "woopdiwoop bleep what?" This absolutley made my day. The n word has only ever been bleeped in senior English class. This can only mean one thing: PROGRESS, and I'm happy to be alive to witness it. Do you think it's because of you know who (no not Voldemort, the president!)? Who cares? I'm so excited that the word is finally being bleeped and is getting the same treatment as other, even far less offensive words. Woopdiwoop indeed!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Bank statement
I was just catching up on some "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" when I saw that I had an ex's bank statement as my bookmark from the last time I read it. Since I'm currently angry with him I decided to exact my revenge by perusing the statement. Upon review I wondered if my bank statements are as boring and predictable as his. See if you can guess which ex:
Gas
Cheap grocery store
Netflix charge
Korean restaurant
Padres tix/consessions
British style pub
Used book store
Start at beginning, repeat almost exactly in order
This ex was v private about his bank info (smart) so I have no clue how it came to be in my book. My only guess is that I was at his apt early in the relationship and (now realize prob reading it aloud to him with a british accent) grabbed whatever was close to mark the page and dozed off. But it seems weird that he'd have this lying around for me to grab. I think he must've been trying to read it to me (I remember a horrible fake cockney accent) and grabbed it himself.
The absolute strangest part of this whole thing is that the statement is 3 years old and we must have used it when it was fresh (as he had a good filing system) and I haven't noticed until now, which means I haven't opened the book in three years. My fave book in my fave series and I haven't read it in 3 years? I feel shameful. I feel like I should read it over and over for a month. It just makes no sense. I can recall reading the other 6 in the past 3 years but why not this one? Maybe I felt it needed a break? I feel sick thinking about the neglect. Don't look at me.
Gas
Cheap grocery store
Netflix charge
Korean restaurant
Padres tix/consessions
British style pub
Used book store
Start at beginning, repeat almost exactly in order
This ex was v private about his bank info (smart) so I have no clue how it came to be in my book. My only guess is that I was at his apt early in the relationship and (now realize prob reading it aloud to him with a british accent) grabbed whatever was close to mark the page and dozed off. But it seems weird that he'd have this lying around for me to grab. I think he must've been trying to read it to me (I remember a horrible fake cockney accent) and grabbed it himself.
The absolute strangest part of this whole thing is that the statement is 3 years old and we must have used it when it was fresh (as he had a good filing system) and I haven't noticed until now, which means I haven't opened the book in three years. My fave book in my fave series and I haven't read it in 3 years? I feel shameful. I feel like I should read it over and over for a month. It just makes no sense. I can recall reading the other 6 in the past 3 years but why not this one? Maybe I felt it needed a break? I feel sick thinking about the neglect. Don't look at me.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Wolverine (prob spoiler)
I feel it is my duty to review this movie because it has received horrible reviews that I don't believe are justified.
First of all, this is a comic book movie and ppl don't seem to realize that this genre is allowed an extra amount of cheese than other genres. In Marvel comic adaptations especially I think the directors have done a good job in capturing that one frame scene you'd get in a comic.
Secondly, the previous X-Men movies have focused heavily on important themes (if not for everyone than for their target audience - teens) such as intolerance, fitting in, self esteem, and bigotry. They have included a fair amount of action but it was divied up among powers and no one's fave superhero (not that everyome has the same fave) got flushed out to anyone's satisfaction. Since Wolverine is a very popular ass kicker and has powers that are made for fighting, it seems natural that his origins movie would be first and only skim the X-Men themes to get right to the fighting.
This is a movie for all of the complainers who think Wolverine is awesome and want to see him in action. And it does an awesome job at that. You have to want this action to enjoy the movie and frankly, how could you not want it - Wolverine is hot, quiet, and badass. I think the critics should shut up and go back to watching their DVDs of Slumdog Millionaire.
Lastly, the next origins movie is going to be Magneto, which will have to be a 180 from Wolverine. Magneto's movie will include the holocaust (how will it escape a Holocaust genre?) and will be heavily theme based with minimal action, mostly from him collecting a team. If I'm wrong and it's the same as Wolverine, then the critics will have been right.
First of all, this is a comic book movie and ppl don't seem to realize that this genre is allowed an extra amount of cheese than other genres. In Marvel comic adaptations especially I think the directors have done a good job in capturing that one frame scene you'd get in a comic.
Secondly, the previous X-Men movies have focused heavily on important themes (if not for everyone than for their target audience - teens) such as intolerance, fitting in, self esteem, and bigotry. They have included a fair amount of action but it was divied up among powers and no one's fave superhero (not that everyome has the same fave) got flushed out to anyone's satisfaction. Since Wolverine is a very popular ass kicker and has powers that are made for fighting, it seems natural that his origins movie would be first and only skim the X-Men themes to get right to the fighting.
This is a movie for all of the complainers who think Wolverine is awesome and want to see him in action. And it does an awesome job at that. You have to want this action to enjoy the movie and frankly, how could you not want it - Wolverine is hot, quiet, and badass. I think the critics should shut up and go back to watching their DVDs of Slumdog Millionaire.
Lastly, the next origins movie is going to be Magneto, which will have to be a 180 from Wolverine. Magneto's movie will include the holocaust (how will it escape a Holocaust genre?) and will be heavily theme based with minimal action, mostly from him collecting a team. If I'm wrong and it's the same as Wolverine, then the critics will have been right.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Handwriting
The photo pictured above captures the amazing handwriting of one of college students. This is a quiz the had to complete this week. Notice, please, the undercipherable words, which are somewhat due to spelling but mostly to symbols that do not represent letters. The overlapping words at the top lend to the overall essence of the quiz. There is also a sense of dizziness where the student does not pay atention to the horizon and kind of slips of to one side or the other. In his other work he likes to start each line further to the right than the line before.
What can I say about this? First, I guess, is that this is not uncommon from a certain type of student. I'm not quite sure what that type is - it's not all of my male students; it's not all of my Muslim students; it's not all of my African students, but it is a combination of the these elements plus something else I can't put my finger on - possibly parental education, or experience in a job that does not require writing? It's amazing that someone of college age, in college, can write this way. It seems like a simple basic skill to be able to separate letters appropriately, then separate words, then get everything going in the same direction. The older women from Mexico who were not previously educated have at least these skills down.
The most difficult part of dealing with this type of problem is that the students in question do not seem to grasp that it is a problem. They don't see that their writing is different from their average classmate. They often choose to handwrite assignments instead of type (and even their typed assignments reflect these errors somehow - their spacing makes no sense, their capitolization is random, and their spelling is not even phonetic. I want to go to one of their childhood schools and learn the completely different knowledge that they have. It must be good.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
17 Again (tiny SPOILER)
I saw High School Musical when it was on the Disney channel and I did not think Zac Efron was hot. He was younger then, and blonder, but for christ's sake! he is effing hot in 17 Again. Every time he came on camera he had this effect on me like "phwoar!" and I'm not even British! I have a feeling they used CGI on him or something. For reals.
Also, the audience for this movie was a little unclear - at first I'd think young girls who like Zac Efron, then maybe dads because of the message - but no dad would go on his own; he'd have to take his duaghter. But then the CGIed Zac Efron kinda hinted towards a cougar audience and there was a theme like in Benjamin Button where the older woman (not old) gets to see her lover young and hot again and that made me think it was a total mom audience.
ALSO, the music was not normal. First of all - yes that "Bust a Move" song is awesome, but it's awesome NOW; was it actually that awesome in the 80s? I thought it was more 90s awesome. AND, the tough guy/hot shot listens to LIMP BIZKIT! It's supposed to be 2009! I was all about Limp Bizkit in 1999, but who even knows them now? Wait, the whole timeline of this makes no sense - she gets preggers in 1989 and then in 2009 she has two kids in high school? Where's the 20 year old? Did they get rid of her? No, she's magically 17 or 18, but there's no way she's 19/20 in her senior year, right? Soooo, the audience of this movie is single girls in their late 20s, who don't want to get married because their husband will get old and no longer be hot, and who fondly remember Limp Bizkit? Are there more like me out there?
One more thing. SPOILER. The first scene takes place in 1989 at a basketball game. We see the cheerleaders at halftime doing their thing (hence the "Bust a Move") and we learn the Zac Efron's character is hot shit because a. he can get the ball in the hoop b. he is hot shit c. he has a hot gf and D. HE BUSTS OUT ONTO THE FLOOR AND DANCES WITH THE CHEERLEADERS! Honestly, I wanted to boo the movie at that point. I would've killed a guy who was already cool on the bball team if he tried to steal my thunder at halftime, And, no one cool in high school at that time would've danced with the cheerleaders like that, And Jesus Christ, Zac Efron, can't you keep your dance moves to yourself for ONE movie? it was still hot, though
Update: I saw the soundtrack on iTunes. I had forgotten that "Danger Zone" from Top Gun and a "Push it" remix was in the movie. I'm so right about the audience. Sadly, Limp Bizkit did not make the soundtrack cut.
Update!!! Just found this link through Vulture. They thought her article was awful. I think it's got good points and she saw the movie for the same reason as me and, get this, she wrote "G-d"!!!! I'm not over it!
Also, the audience for this movie was a little unclear - at first I'd think young girls who like Zac Efron, then maybe dads because of the message - but no dad would go on his own; he'd have to take his duaghter. But then the CGIed Zac Efron kinda hinted towards a cougar audience and there was a theme like in Benjamin Button where the older woman (not old) gets to see her lover young and hot again and that made me think it was a total mom audience.
ALSO, the music was not normal. First of all - yes that "Bust a Move" song is awesome, but it's awesome NOW; was it actually that awesome in the 80s? I thought it was more 90s awesome. AND, the tough guy/hot shot listens to LIMP BIZKIT! It's supposed to be 2009! I was all about Limp Bizkit in 1999, but who even knows them now? Wait, the whole timeline of this makes no sense - she gets preggers in 1989 and then in 2009 she has two kids in high school? Where's the 20 year old? Did they get rid of her? No, she's magically 17 or 18, but there's no way she's 19/20 in her senior year, right? Soooo, the audience of this movie is single girls in their late 20s, who don't want to get married because their husband will get old and no longer be hot, and who fondly remember Limp Bizkit? Are there more like me out there?
One more thing. SPOILER. The first scene takes place in 1989 at a basketball game. We see the cheerleaders at halftime doing their thing (hence the "Bust a Move") and we learn the Zac Efron's character is hot shit because a. he can get the ball in the hoop b. he is hot shit c. he has a hot gf and D. HE BUSTS OUT ONTO THE FLOOR AND DANCES WITH THE CHEERLEADERS! Honestly, I wanted to boo the movie at that point. I would've killed a guy who was already cool on the bball team if he tried to steal my thunder at halftime, And, no one cool in high school at that time would've danced with the cheerleaders like that, And Jesus Christ, Zac Efron, can't you keep your dance moves to yourself for ONE movie? it was still hot, though
Update: I saw the soundtrack on iTunes. I had forgotten that "Danger Zone" from Top Gun and a "Push it" remix was in the movie. I'm so right about the audience. Sadly, Limp Bizkit did not make the soundtrack cut.
Update!!! Just found this link through Vulture. They thought her article was awful. I think it's got good points and she saw the movie for the same reason as me and, get this, she wrote "G-d"!!!! I'm not over it!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Kids' eating habits
A few days ago I was, for some reason, thinking about how I would manipulate my own nonexistent kids into having good eating habits. I would make them understand that mcdonalds was a treat, not a norm. Or maybe only take them there on sad occasions so they'd have bad associations. When they started their sweet faze I would give them quality chocolate instead of teeth rotting candy, etc.
Today at a 5 year old's birthday party I stood next to a mother while the kids hit the piñata. Her son grabbed a box of nerds and she fretted. She wasn't pretentious when she said it but she said he wasn't allowed that stuff at home. Another mother asked what he was allowed and the first said chocolate but nothing like this hard candy that sticks in their teeth. I thought, this woman is nuts! Then I remembered that is exactly what I would do and realized I sound nuts too. Now I don't know what to do. Thank g dash I don't have to worry about that.
Today at a 5 year old's birthday party I stood next to a mother while the kids hit the piñata. Her son grabbed a box of nerds and she fretted. She wasn't pretentious when she said it but she said he wasn't allowed that stuff at home. Another mother asked what he was allowed and the first said chocolate but nothing like this hard candy that sticks in their teeth. I thought, this woman is nuts! Then I remembered that is exactly what I would do and realized I sound nuts too. Now I don't know what to do. Thank g dash I don't have to worry about that.
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