Super Powers

I've been meaning to write about the top three super powers that I want ever since I started watching Heroes again.  Here goes.

1. Teleportation

I believe this to be the ultimate super power for one reason: traveling sucks.  Don't get me wrong - there are some positive aspects of traveling such as catching up on a book while flying, seeing the sights through a train window, taking a road trip with friends, but these things can still be accomplished without the hassle of travel.  I could teleport to a field in some European country and take in the beauty without the hassle of fitting my luggage on the train.  I could teleport to a rocking chair in the south to read a book without going through security.  I could teleport to visit 6 friends in one weekend and see where they live, their families, and their favorite restaurant in town.  I could be closer to everyone I love and be further from everyone I don't.  I could cut out road rage, travel anxiety, and the pain in my ears from the plane landing.  I could teleport to the gym during my lunch break instead of taking the entire time to get there and back.  The possibilities are endless.  I would visit every continent, every country!  I could donate my gas money to charity (I do feel guilty that my top super power is selfish).

2. Human lie detector

At first this was going to be Mind Reader, but then I saw the girl on Heroes who could tell when someone is lying and decided it would be much better.  Knowing everyone's thoughts seems like hell most of the time - it seems the only time i ever really think cohesively is when I'm being judgmental.  Oh man, maybe that's just all I ever think.  Anyway, moving on.  I want to know when people are lying because then I can make intelligent decisions for myself and others.  See, sometimes people lie to me because they don't understand what I'm asking - like if I say to a roommate, "are you staying the night?" she may think I want her to leave when really I just want to know if I should move my car out of the driveway.  So she may say yes just to make me think she's staying to try to ruin my night, but really she's stuck in the driveway now.  I don't really care what she thinks; I just want to know if I have to move the car now or if she's gonna wake me up to move it.  See?  I'm helping us both.  Or if I ask my boss if I can have a day off and he says, "no, we're busy that day" but I can tell he's lying, then I can change my argument; I'll know to come up with a doctor's appointment.  But if he's not lying, I would come to work that day and change my day off - or prove that I'm not busy.  Or if someone says, "I just entered your number wrong on my phone" I will know whether to keep trying to get together with that person or just let them be.  No hard feelings, no one looks foolish.  I'm not trying to call people out on their white lies - I just want to know when I'm being lied to so I don't do the wrong thing.  P.S. if, like on Heroes, I got a tingle whenever someone was lying, I'd have to wear loose fitting pants at work.

3.  Controlling Cars on the Road

This is not a very common super power but it is one that I have truly wished for ever since I started using cruise control regularly.  I enjoy my safety pocket on the highway and I cannot stand when I'm cruising at 70 and the driver next to me keeps going from 65 to 80 and back again.  I want to be able to send this guy ahead of me far enough that his 65 bouts won't affect me.  Also, merging.  Omigod I cannot stand when we're all merging and the driver in front of me won't move into the lane even though there's plenty of space for him.  He's just gotta stay straight even if it means half his car is in the shoulder.  I would be able to squeeze him in right in front of me, in the lane.  Or I'm trying to get onto the highway and the driver on the road won't change to the next lane even though it's free and clear.  I could move him over just until I pass.  Or I'm trying to exit while someone is trying to enter and he slows down even though he's trying to get on the highway, but I slow down because I'm trying to exit and then we're stuck next to each other so neither can move to the desired lane.  I'd sped him up to pass me and enter safely onto the highway.  This super power gives me the ability to make other cars do the right thing - stay at one speed in your own pocket, merge into the lane when it's your clear chance, speed up when getting on the highway, etc.  Not only am I helping myself curb the rage, I'm also helping everyone else get better gas mileage.  Not entirely selfish.  I should give credit where credit is due, though - when I was 15 my mother was dating H.  H was a man who drove a lot.  He was a smoker and not allowed to smoke in our house so he would go for drives, or volunteer to drive me places when I needed.  He had this thing where he would take one hand off the steering wheel and pretend to push the cars in front of him out of the way, like parting the red sea.  Every once in a while a car would move as he did it and would say, "Look!  I did it!"  As a non-driver I thought he was nuts and didn't understand why he was always doing that; I thought he was bored.  But now I realize it was to curb the rage.