Subtitles

This weekend I saw 12, which is apparently a remake of the American movie Twelve Angry Men, which I guess I've heard of but knew nothing about. The movie was really good but the subtitles were shit. Well, I don't know Russian so I can't say if the subtitles were bad translations, but they were white, on a very lightly shot movie. This made it so reading the subtitles was almost imposible at times. I missed an entire punchline because of it. It pissed me off. I left the theater with a headache from strained eyes.
For a girl who has every Spice Girls album and most of the N'Sync albums, I think I watch a lot of subtitled movies and have some knowledge of what can be done. The simplest way to fix the problem is to make the subtitles yellow instead of white. Easy, right? How can it not be? I have a feeling that certain countries or movie producers or whoever make the subtitles hard to read on purpose. Like, learn Russian you American spoiled jerks! For movies that also have a dubbed option the subtitles are easy to read (Miyazaki movies), which surprises me because the dubbing is an artform in itself so I would think they'd want to encourage viewers to use that option.
Ever since I saw Night Watch, where the Subtitles are artistically done and move with the action and are blood red in places, I thought subtitles had finally advanced to the next level and we would no longer feel like our language differences were a barrier. But no, I have yet to see a movie that uses subtitles the way they did. And new movies are still using horrible white subtitles, which proves that they are being mean on purpose.
Furthermore, I read about how Let the Right One In came out on DVD with subtitles, and even though the theater subtitles were perfect, they made the DVD subtitles all wrong. They used a different translator or something? How does that even work? Did they have to pay the original translator royalites and he asked too much so they used someone else? wtf? but enough people complained about the watery/wrong subtitles that they agreed to stop selling those DVDs and fix it for the new ones sold. Thank g dash someone knows Swedish and alerted us to this because I want to see that movie!

Naa Na Na Nanananaaaa

Hey Jude is such a good song. The problem is, when I visited Yad VaShem, the Holocaust museum in Israel, my friend came up to me and said, "I feel awfule but I have 'Hey Jude' stuck in my head." Ya know, cuz there are all these signs that say JUDE and shit. So no, whenever I hear that song, I think of Yad VaShem, but not in a sad way, in a funny way. It's bad. Also, I love that the song is basically about getting a new step-parent. I think it should be a requirement to play this song at all second+ marriage weddings where kids are involved. I will suggest it to the DJ at my mother's upcoming wedding. I wonder if she'll have a DJ. I'll bring my iPod speakers just in case.

My Sister

I could tell from all y'all's responses whenever I spoke of my sister that you thought I should swallow my pride and talk to her again or at least apologize for the kids' sake (sorry I caused our parents divorce) so I did the least I could do after doing nothing: I asked her to be my facebook friend (again) and this time sent a message saying, I don't think your kids are assholes and I love them so please be my facebook friend so I can show off pics of them. Boy do I know my audience! She befriended me! I honestly almost cried when I saw it on my phone while stopped at a red light. Then I thought about how I was gonna blog about it. Then I mentally slapped myself to stop thinking about the blog and stay in the emotional moment. Then I thought of the "Fight Club" scene with the chemical burn. I love that scene.
Anyway, my sister posted on my wall "we have a new dad". It took me a min to realize she was referring to my mom's engagement and then I laughed so hard. Dad is both of our facebook friends so I guess that solves the problem of how he'll find out.
She also wrote about her son telling a black family that he doesn't like black ppl, and how weird it was cuz she luuuurves them.

What a Thrill!

Just realized that Troop Beverly Hills is part of my canon but I don't yet own it. I will get on that immediately!

Fat Times!

My Girl Scout Cookies just came! This is very exciting news. Tonight i'm watching the new Twilight DVD with Rhoda and we're going to have caprese salad, and then make adult mac and cheese (my dad's recipe, which calls for 5 cups of cheddar cheese and heavy cream). Rhoda says she has baked brie available in case we need more food. I keep telling myself I will work out when it gets warmer out. The cool air hurts my ears too much when the weather is only in the 60s. Maybe next week it will be nicer out. I calculated my student loans and the payback period. I still have about 45 years left to pay them back, which means my increasing cholesterol will get me before I have to pay them back. Take that!

Phone Lady

So as many of my friends have unfortunately discovered, Verizon reused my old phone number far too soon and the new owner has a beligerant mother. I finally decided it was time to call the mother to let her know that my friends are just calling for me and not sexual predators calling to take advantage of her daughter. The woman and I ended up in a screeching fight. She says that one of my friends has ben calling constantly to invite me to a sex party. She went on to say that my friends were making me seem like a whore and then said she wasn't calling me a whore, but that's what my friends were making me out as. That was nice of her! I told her that I've tried to tell my friends about my new number and this sex party person is not my friend and that she needs to complain to Verizon about reusing the number too soon. She said she called Verizon and they won't do anything. She also said her husband is in the state police and she's gonna report me and my friends. I told her to please report the sex party person and she can report me as well. What the hell would they do? This did not satisfy her as she continued to screech at me. When I had enough silliness I told her there was nothing more to do and that I was hanging up.
So I guess it's just some crazy woman and my friends who still don't know my number willbjust have to deal with being called perverts. It was kinda fun. My fave part was when she was scared of calling me a whore. Maybe she was recording the call. She's like one of those 911 calls where the woman is complaining that mcdonalds didn't make her big mac correctly.

Important Lesson

Don't call people after eating pot. Akward giggles on the phone are even stranger than in person. I don't know how many times I've ignored this lesson but I need to stop high dialing. On my most recent flub I passed it off as "multitasking" when the person on the other end said I was weird on the phone.

Hypothesis

I wish there were a word that meant "educated racism" the way hypothesis means "educational guess". Hyporacism doesn't work. It's got to mean more than generalization because I want it to be negative the way racism is. I'm sure ESL teachers all over the world know what I'm talking about. We know not ALL of a group is the same but many of them share negative (to us) characteristics that are simply undeniable. It's not the same as racism, which often happens because of ignorance and limited exposure. This is educated racism, which happens in learning environments through concentrated exposure. Let's try to think of a good word

The best part of working with Indians

Using that Office Space line "Naga- Naga- Naganna work here anymore" over and over. Like for real there's a lot of people with long first names that begin with "Naga." Usually they are mutliple first names like, Naga Venkata Anil. Fun times.

Damn!

The only reason I read all of those horribly awful Maxiumum Ride books was becasue I thought Alfonso Cuaron was directing the upcoming movie. Now I read that Catherine Hardwicke, the Twilight director might be doing it. No mention of Cuaron at all. What was the point? At least the awfulness of the books leaves a good chance that the movie(s) will be better. It could be cool to watch bird-kids flying around, but more likely just gross. I wonder if Jasper will be playing Fang. I just hope it's not Zach Ephron!

Engaged!

Yeah, I'm talking about my mom. Surprised? I am. Here's the story: Mom calls me today and says she went out last night with "he's not my boyfriend," and some of her close (in relation and proximity) friends, to celebrate her birthday. They had a nice dinner and then when the cake came it said "Will you marry me? Happy 40th birthday!" Yes, it's her 60th birthday. Apparently her "not-boyfriend"/fiance thought it would be weird or something to put 60th. Also, when she told people it was her 60th they thought she was joking. People assume she's in her 40s or early 50s. That's nice I guess. Anyway, that was quite out of the blue for me considering she's never even referred to him as her boyfriend. I'm excited for her though - also it might take a lot of the pressure of me and my siblings in terms of being her date to things and taking care of her in old age. I think he looks like James Cromwell (whom my mother admitted is handsome, but she doesn't agree with the comparison). She says the wedding will either be January 2010 or June 2010. This will be the 3rd wedding of one of my parents that I've been in attendance for. I asked if she'll be moving and she said no, he's moving in with her. That's great news because her last engagement ended when the fiance wanted her move and wouldn't compromise on anything. She said she's going to expand the upstairs bathroom and put a standing shower in the downstairs bathroom, as well as hardwood floors on the ground floor. I was quite excited about that because it will increase the worth of the house considerably and therefore my inheritance. hehe. BTW, that is a pic of James Cromwell, not the fiance (Ray).

Pretentious

Here's why I'm not pretentious: I can look back at the pretentious things I've liked for the past ten years and I still like them. If I were pretentious I would look back and say, I can't believe I pretended to like that!

Here are some of the honest things that I have been annoying about loving in my past but it was never fake because I still feel the same way: Cat Steven's "Father and Son," Weird Al's "UHF," Rushmore, The Periodic Table of Elements, orange, Shia LaBeouf, A Little Princess, brussel sprouts, Arrested Development, eating healthier than the average American, folk music, Justin Timberlake, the Spice Girls, the semi-colon, Friendly's garden salads and the "wata-mellon roll," nachos, Dire Straights' "Romeo & Juliet," 112's "Peaches & Cream," rollerblading, two buck chuck, Fiona Apple, Emilie, Stella Artois, Bolga Zodoomah, "El Scorcho," the Gap, See's, bread and butter, bagels, Bombay Sapphire gin, Ketel One vodka, Tim McGraw's "Everywhere," PSU random sports t-shirts, Sex and the City season 2, You've Got Mail, the big dipper, french fries, requesting ridiculous music (or just Beyonce's "Irreplaceable")from the DJ at a club, Guster, silly shoes in horrid colors (orange), No Doubt's "Tragic Kingdom," Sigur Ros "Tak," the Violent Femmes, "The Saga Begins," eating drugs, not smoking cigarettes, teenage friends, crying at the same un-sad country songs, raw carrots, Ramen, granny panties, Magnum, P.I., children's furnishings from Ikea, movie ticket stubs, pictures of people I don't really like, natural fabric, time travel, my teddy bear Slider 2360, having a default pair of pants that I wear until a crotch hole becomes offensive, dictionary.com, friends that think I'm funny, hot guys, utilizing each piece of notebook paper to it's fullest, my black tank-top with the velvet tiger.

Some things I no longer feel the need for in my life (but still like at the right time): DVD extras (especially watching with commentary), Bright Eyes, lyrics, going make-up-less, pajama pants in public, boxers instead of girlie(er) undies, Black Heritage Month playlists, H&M, NYC, Massachussetts, dinner, Floyd laser shows, Ska, some comedic music, dressing down at clubs, enemies, listening to my music on random, guitar players, swearing at people when I'm mad.

Tired

I woke up in a coughing fit at 6am today. I couldn't stop coughing so I had to get up and get some water and the water didn't help much. I probably coughed for 5-10 minutes. The whole time I was thinking: thank G-d I don't live with anyone cuz they would be pissed, and: I hope my neighbors can't hear me. Can you believe that? On my verge of death I'm have crack addiction Bella Swan reaction! Anyway, I had a really hard getting back to sleep after and now I'm exhausted.

Spider Roommate

A week or more ago I noticed a Spider in the corner of my bathroom, on the floor in the outer corner of the tub and wall. I debated whether or not to kill him the next few times I saw him and didn't kill him because I told myself I wasn't wearing the right shoes for the job. Then I decided that I just wouldn't kill him until he became a problem, or sprouted babies. Now I feel like he's my roommate. He and I are sharing the place together and we're both pretty happy. I feel the same way about him that I do about most past roommates anyway - He's invading my space and if he crosses the line, I will "take care of the situation." I realized last night that if he leaves or if I do have to kill him, I will most likely cry at least a bit. And if G-d forbid it happens while I'm PMSing, I will cry all night. When I was in 9th grade I had a Tamagochi and it needed care all the time. I obv couldn't be there for it all the time because I had to be in school. So I would change the time so it thought it was supposed to be sleeping all the time. When it FINALLY died of neglect I cried so hard I scared myself. I had to go to my mother because I was so sad, or maybe because I was so confused at my sadness. Her advice was, just bring another one to life. I was like, but I wanted it to die. She was confused too. I never brought another one to life again, though. In conclusion, when I get married I will wish for my husband to die and then when he does I will cry for a day and get over it. That's the conclusion, right?

Foreign Language Requirement

Our undergraduate programs require basic gen eds and one of those categories is foreign languages. Since I deal entirely with international students, it is extremely rare that one of my applicants will need this requirement. Nonetheless, every once in a while I will overhear Fanny discussing with a student ambassador how to schedule a Spanish class for a prospective student. I heard this today and asked Fanny if our students are required to take Spanish. She replied that usually the immigration manager, Rhoda, reprimands her for scheduling a foreign language but this student had taken Spanish 101 at another school and therefore could benefit from Spanish 102 and that the evaluator said it was required. I then called Rhoda to ask if this was necessary and she confirmed that students do not need to fulfill this requirement and the evaluator had made a mistake. I then relayed the message to Fanny, who turned to her ambassadors and told them she had been right and the evaluators were wrong. I understand the need to not look dumb in front of the ambassadors, but they are grad students and not that dumb. I guess I don't have a closing remark because I'm still baffled by the situation that should not be happening in Fanny's 2nd year doing the same thing day after day.

Restaurants

I'm all for smaller portions at restaurants. I do not mind paying as much for the service and quality even if there is less food. But making french fries extra is an evil thing to do. I can understand giving the option of fries and say a .25 fee for them. That way dieters don't have an excuse (e.g. they came with the meal and I didnt' want to waste them), but anything over a $1 is just criminal. Yesterday I had lunch at a place that charge $2 for fries even though I ordered a chicken sandwich (same with burgers). The cafeteria at work charges about the same for them too. What has the world come to?

TOEFL Pictures

When students take the TOEFL IBT, they must get their picture taken. I guess this deters fraud. Anyway, the picture is included in black and white on the corner of their score report that gets sent directly to schools. I just want to know what is going on in the minds of the students and the photographer. I assumed the camera is just a webcam and the students sit in front of the computer and click (as I did for the GRE), but some of these pictures are so horrible that just can't be the case. Many of them are in front of a window where the natural light actually makes it impossibl to see the image. Some of them are taken at strange angles or from far away. All of them feature a prospective student who looks wholly upset to be there. They are either staring into the camera, forcing the viewer to look away scared, or they look like they're having their picture taken to be sent to a wealthy country that may send money or food when seeing the sad shot. I have yet to see someone smile in one of the pictures, although I have received a couple of hopeful looking ones. Keep in mind, I have close to 900 of these on file.

Notetaking

Today during a meeting about nursing applications I noticed Fanny underlined the word "Proctor" after the boss said students had to take a proctored essay. I wondered if it was because she wanted to remeber that the essay need to be proctored or if she thought it was particularly important, or if she just didn't know what the word meant and wanted to remember to find out. My real guess is that she doesn't know what it means and therefore assumed it was an important word to note but will never actually look it up. That's just from my experience with ESL though. I could write a thesis on her use of the language.

Tropical Sprite Remix

I think I used to like remixed songs when I was in high school. Is that possible? I've heard some lately on the pop radio station and it makes me cringe. They take mediocre to good songs (I heard a Carrie Underwood song and an Oasis song) and then put a backbeat in it - I guess that's what they call it. What is the purpose? Maybe to make it dancier? But why on the radio at 8:30am? I want to eet the people who are dancing to the radio at this time of day. I mean, even high schoolers who possibly enjoying dancing while they get ready for school, are probably at school already at that time. So why else make these songs more annoying? It's awful, but that's just my opiniotated fact.

Stalking

Do hotties ever stalk? I'm currently being stalked on Facebook by someone from my hometown and now I'm being stalked at work by a guy who applied with me and is now enrolled. He keeps coming by the office "just to say hi." I have to make small talk with him, which is not one of my abilities, and then I walk away like I'm going to copy something. I wonder how long this will last. If I had kids who were so clearly socially akward, I'd give them a lesson on what stalking is and how to avoid it.

Health

Today my coworker, Fanny, who likes to bring food to share with everyone said to me, "look Sarah, I brought in healthy food: dried fruit and nuts [from Costco] instead of chocolate." She then proceeded to place the large mixture next to the Cheetos she also brought in. I'm not complaining that she brought food to share, I just want to point out the health factor: chocolate has redeemable qualities - it's not very bad for teeth, it can have antioxidants; Cheetos do not have any redeemable qualtities other than extremely delicious and satisfying. I wish I could educate her on health but it would just look ungrateful. Also, the dried fruit and nut mixture definitely has added sugar. I wonder if she is pretending she brought these things in to be healthier, just to apease me, or if she's actually believes it to be true.

Actors' names

I have this problem where I refer to actors by one of their characters' names. Like Miguel from Passions - he's been in other TV shows that I've watched, and starred in his own movie, but he will always be Miguel to me. Ruth from Six Feet Under was just on How I Met Your Mother and then there's Lana Lang from Smallville and Turtle from Entourage. I guess if I ever saw them in real life I would never be stupid enough to be like, you're Dougie Houser! but actors are usually total nerds slash douchebags, right? I like to pretend their characters are real because their characters are just so much cooler. Also, why would I want to meet Tom Welling? I don't even know the guy; obv I just want to meet Clark Kent. That's prob why if I had to pick one actor to meet, it would hands-down be Larry David. Or maybe I just want to meet him because we are both a**holes.

What?

I had to ask a prospective student why he was no longer attending his other school in the US and this is what he responded:
I dropped because i really don't like the ceremony of this Transcendental Meditation
UPDATE: I asked him what he meant, like if the school was religious, and got the following response:
Yea its like a practice and its against my religious value. Although the concept is good and very nice, its gives you a better idea of getting hundred percent mental alertness without any stress but the practice and the ceremony involves is against my own religion. Thank you

Medical Condition

One of my student applications was delayed because the student indicated that he had a medical condition. I had to ask him for a Dr's note to find out what the condition was (something like blindness or deafness needs to be addressed early on so we can prepare). I finally got the Dr's note today - ADHD. How will we deal? Is that really a condition that needs to be mentioned these days? Who doesn't have it? Every celebrity in Twitter does, no?

UPDATE: This student's medical condition turns out to be a serious matter. Since he brought it to our attention he actually will have to complete disability applications and get special help.

Domestic Abuse Country Music

On my way to work this morning I heard the song "Gunpowder and Lead" and it reminded me of the power the Dixie Chicks' song "Goodbye Earle" had on fans. This song didn't seem to have that kind of following and I was wondering why. The differences are clear: "Goodbye Earle" is about an abusive husband and he gets killed without police interference, while "Gunpowder and Lead" is about an abusive husband (or father maybe) who's abused is waiting for him with a gun, after he makes bail. Is it because the country music fans have faith in their police-force, so if they say he can make bail, we should respect that? Or is it because "Goodbye Earle" was just a more fun song? Or did I simply miss out on the excitement that "Gunpowder and Lead" caused? Either way, I want to sing it at Karaoke.

Dinner

Today for lunch I had packed a delicious homemade soup, but when I went to eat it there were bugs in it. My guess was the broccolli hosted them. So I made a new soup for dinner and washed the broccolli more thoroughly. I couldn't see any bugs in the salad spinner, though. I was worried that I would fin more bugs in the new soup from an unknown source so I put dried spices in it to disguise the bugs. The soup was delicious.